my last times with dadi
i was thinking about the last time i saw and spoke to dadi, and i feel lucky to have such good last memories of him.
the last time i saw him, he was leaving new york to go back to taiwan, and i remember i had school that day. so i had to say bye to him in my apartment when i left for school. (i do wish i took him to the airport that day...) i remember giving him a kiss and telling him i loved him. and he did the same to me. that was one of the things that dadi was great at - he always showed his affection for those that he loved so that they wouldn't forget that he loved them. he always told us that he loved us, wrote us cards and notes. because of him, i am able to show affection to others too. and for a lot of people, especially in chinese cultures and for men, it's hard for them to show direct affection. but dadi knew how important it was to do so.
the last time i talked to him on the phone, he called me, because it was his birthday. (i do wish i had called him and remembered...) he told me what a great time he had with momi and her student and his friends at his birthday dinner. he was in a very happy mood. i told him sorry for forgetting his birthday that day, and he said not to worry, i could remember his chinese birthday instead. (i do wish i had a chance to help him celebrate his last birthday...) and, like all our calls, we ended with "love you"s. i hope he remembers the last thing i told him was that i loved him and i hope he know i meant it very much.
in the wake of the horrible virginia tech shootings, i think about if those poor students who were suddenly killed had good last memories with people they loved. i hope they did. and i know dadi will be up there to take care of them as they go into heaven.
i hope everyone remembers to tell the people they love that they love them, and to make good memories with them. it seems silly at times, but it is definitely worth it!
the last time i saw him, he was leaving new york to go back to taiwan, and i remember i had school that day. so i had to say bye to him in my apartment when i left for school. (i do wish i took him to the airport that day...) i remember giving him a kiss and telling him i loved him. and he did the same to me. that was one of the things that dadi was great at - he always showed his affection for those that he loved so that they wouldn't forget that he loved them. he always told us that he loved us, wrote us cards and notes. because of him, i am able to show affection to others too. and for a lot of people, especially in chinese cultures and for men, it's hard for them to show direct affection. but dadi knew how important it was to do so.
the last time i talked to him on the phone, he called me, because it was his birthday. (i do wish i had called him and remembered...) he told me what a great time he had with momi and her student and his friends at his birthday dinner. he was in a very happy mood. i told him sorry for forgetting his birthday that day, and he said not to worry, i could remember his chinese birthday instead. (i do wish i had a chance to help him celebrate his last birthday...) and, like all our calls, we ended with "love you"s. i hope he remembers the last thing i told him was that i loved him and i hope he know i meant it very much.
in the wake of the horrible virginia tech shootings, i think about if those poor students who were suddenly killed had good last memories with people they loved. i hope they did. and i know dadi will be up there to take care of them as they go into heaven.
i hope everyone remembers to tell the people they love that they love them, and to make good memories with them. it seems silly at times, but it is definitely worth it!
posted by abusygirl | 6:45 AM
4 Comments:
Last time I talked to Dadi was in Yee-Zen hospital of course. That day I did not expect or prepare that he would leave us. Long after that I did some investigation and realized that he had that fatal bleeding due to the medicine prescribed by Hsin-Chu hospital that declogged his shunt (he was hospitalized from 11/23 to 11/26). If we had discussed and checked about that medicine, maybe we would have asked doctor to check his coagulation index for the following week when he continued to take that medicine. Today I was looking into both medical records: I was able to find the APTT test done in Hsin-Chu hospital, but not in the emergency of Yee-Zen hospital on 12/5/05. That test was told by The France Insurance Company whose medical professionals found the previous hospital checked Dadi's APTT values that were still good. So I should found out if Yee-Zen did APTT test on 12/5. But I can not find it, Yee-Zen Emergency probably did not do that and only asked us to go to some other hospital(I remembe that Dadi said they were trying to kick human ball to some other hospital.)?
With Dadi's and others' cases in Taiwanese medical system, I think I had better use US medical system. Like I told Aunti Hai-Fang as in the followings:
My 5/9 physical exam. verifies my gall bladder has at least two polyps(early this year school said they found I had gall stones so I started to eat much less oily food.), and kidney has some stones but can be washed by drinking more water. Many years ago Tom accompanied me to do Ba Colonscope and found a polyp, at that time the NHI physician said it should not turn into cancer. But from Mom's case, I start to think I should prepare to have US insurance since I do not like to have surgery in any of Taiwan hospitals that you got to have someoone watch for every step and push the system to work right for you during the critical period(i.e. before and after surgery). If Tom were alive he maybe able to help me (He did that when I had my eye operation.), but he passed away. I learned a lot during his hopitalization in Taiwan myself, but I can not do the abovementioned things if I have to be operated in Taiwan. Cheryl also learned a lot in this aspect but she is in USA. Cheryl is not only smart but also having lovable heart. She updated me and A-ma relevant knowledge right away and help me any time she finds I need help no matter where I am. I am really lucky to have Cheryl. Daughter is really much better than boy?:)Maybe I should not say that - some boys are good too, from some cases of my male students(Eng. school has mostly boy graduate students) who carry out works/services/communications/caring for my life more carefully than female students. Lots of time I feel they spoil me too much so I say "Let teacher learn things myself otherwise I always need your help." " I am learning in Taiwanese social college since Dr. Yuan passed away I have to independently take care of many things that were done by him for me before." Actually my teaching passion is primarily induced by many students' passions, plus their parents' cares/appreciations. Univ. eldest founder, chairman....... to all teachers are pretty good to me too, so at present it's hard for me to leave here and go to US. Plus I am still fighting for the fact of Dadi's accidental death.
Ya! Dadi is the person always trying to show /tell his affections/loves. That's why I say he is from a warmer family and is warmer(although his body temp. is cooler opposite to mine.)
Persons/families without showing/telling affections/loves may lose this ability? A few days ago Dr. Yeh(used to be the busy Dean of Academic Affairs) and me invited ten senior teachers (born before 1950's)to take our founder(91 years old)fro a warm dinner. When all the teachers told him we all appreciated what he has done and loved him, He was so touched. That day he ate much more-enjoyed all dishes. All the teachers decided to form a senior-forever spring club to take him out for eating food he likes.(Dr. Yeh said he is starved at home?)
I always feel bad when people got starved or not eat well like students who do not eat well out of home or in military. I like to invite them to eat and eat more: Am I becoming old mother or that existed in my nature?:)
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