the huggable bear

when i was really little, i gave my dad a nickname called "huggable bear" or "H.B." for short. this was because i thought he looked like a big bear but i knew he was huggable because, well, he was!

i remember that he always had the most positive energy, even when i did things that he should have gotten mad at me for. like when i was little and spilled things or broke things or lost thing, he never got mad, he was just show me how not to do it next time. his motto really was "don't cry over spilled milk!" and to this day, i still have my optimistic forward-looking traits because of his influence.

even when he was sick and probably feeling very uncomfortable, he was still positive and made jokes and was still jolly as he could be.

i remember how he and my mom always liked to help people that really needed it. we always had random families from taiwan or china living in the basement of our house because he wanted to help them get settled into the US and get their children into our good school district. i think about when one of his younger brothers passed away, leaving his wife and two young boys. my dad always kept in touch with them, and gave advice and mentoring to the boys. i remember him always making sure i sent mother's days cards to my own mom, his mom, my mom's mom and even his "second" mom. i remember him lending his coat to a chinese waiter in the middle of a winter night when he was locked out of the restaurant. i remember him always trying to figure out ways to get my then-boyfriend, now husband, a green card.

sometimes when i think about why he left this world so suddenly and unexpectedly, i wonder if whoever is up where he is needed his help up there too. maybe it was their turn to have my dad in their world so that he could help them up there. maybe he is helping all the people we knews who have since left this world, like both my grandpas and my great-grandma and everyone else. and i know that he is happy, because helping other people makes him happy.